We could use this page to tell you that we are a friendly, professional news source aimed at gaming and nerd culture. Instead, we have chosen you give you this legendary epic about our inception:
“In the early days, the dark days, there was blood. And there was us. A crew of berserkers, alone, drifting from place to place followed by and following a trail of bodies miles high and miles long.
When we followed the bodies to the end, we found two things. A television. And the ocean. Ted Neptune, our glorious deity, rose from the waves in a tunic made of seafoam and he declared:
“You will broadcast to the world from this television. You will tell the world of video game news and reviews from the depths! You will tell the truth! The whole truth! And nothing but the truth! Except for when you lie. Which will be often.”
And we nodded. No longer barbarians, we had become something more. We were newsbarians: honorable defenders of the gospel of Ted. We honed our axes into pens–sharp, dangerous pens–and we carved out reviews for all manner of things on the stones by the ocean. Video games. Films. Pop Culture. All was examined by us. All was reviewed. All was recorded. And soon our beach was a Beach of Knowledge. Every stone was graced with a news or review carving.
Eventually we moved to Los Angeles, as all skilled newsbarians do. But the Beach of Knowledge will always be in our hearts. We have a beautiful headquarters surrounded by palm trees and California Pines. And we love our jobs.
Stop in, read our posts, follow us on Twitter and the like. We genuinely appreciate your stopping in to listen to our nonsense.”