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A New Direction for NETV

Azazel February 25, 2015 24

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Hey readers,

After weeks of tense negations and water-balloon fights to determine who is alpha in our video-game-news-casting pack, Josh has officially reasserted his dominance. Josh will remain in charge (which is too bad because I was really rooting for Harry the Water-Balloon Throwing Seal, I really think having him in charge would have brought some really positive changes to the site). BUT! Josh has not returned to his position of leadership without bringing some serious change-bombs to our humble corner of the internet.

He strode up to his NETV throne of skulls, cracking a few jaw bones with his ultra-metal boots, sat down and declared:

“We shall no longer do the news!!!!!!!!”

And us, the lowly peons below, listened and nodded. (What else could we do? He had defeated us in honorable balloon fight combat and was, by all rights, our leader.)


And the firmament shook and the birds flew off of the nearby cliffs.

So here we are. In the new era of NETV: News. Plus one.

What is the plus one?

It is the choice to give you the gaming news you want in a way that is totally and utterly incorrect.

It will compromise our ability to tell the truth, this plus one. From now on, the information in our articles will be wrong. All wrong. Defiantly and purposefully wrong. Think of it like psychic-cream-cheese frosting on top of your news. Is psychic-cream-cheese frosting a real thing? Of course not. But it will be there, spread lovingly over all our posts, distorting the facts and making the real world seem way more badass. Because, sometimes, the world needs a little embellishment to seem super-cool. And we will make it all seem super-cool.

Real news is boring. You can find it other places from more reliable sources. Instead, we will strive to give you 10% news and 90% entirely false awesomeness in every article, guaranteed. News. Plus one.

Welcome to the future.

<3 Azazel

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